Penguin Hats Apparently Cannot Cure Diseases

One winter day, I was going about my business as usual--although by business I mean skipping around happily surrounded by a perpetual aura of glitter and sunshine. I had recently purchased a penguin hat, which only intensified my enthusiasm.

Over the course of the next 24 hours, I began to notice myself trudging around or laying on the couch pathetically instead of frolicking. At first I figured that I was just tired, but I knew that something was seriously wrong when Marine (and many other credible sources) began to repeatedly tell me that nothing I said made any sense. I thought I was having normal conversations, but apparently I was responding with random nonsense.

I became more and more confused until I realized...I was sick. And being sick doesn't feel great.

The moral of the story is that winter = diseases. These evil wintry diseases run rampant and try to make your life miserable using one or more of the following methods:

1. Snacking on your energy so you are forced to lay on the couch all day like some sort of human-sloth-creature.

2. Convincing you that incoherent thoughts are coherent so that you confuse yourself and everyone around you.

3. Littering its candybar wrappers all over your body (especially throat--results in phenomenon known as coughing).

4. Lighting your brain on fire, thus causing thermometers to display unnatural temperatures.

5. Lots of other things that being diseased will make you too tired to list.

Because I don't enjoy a life of misery, I normally refuse to get sick. I don't know what happened this time. My immune system needs to step it up.