Immune Systems Are People Too

When Alie gets sick, she gets mildly incoherent for a day or so, and then her immune system kicks into gear and violently beats her disease into submission.

This is because Alie's immune system is actually a weightlifting ballerina with hot pink hair. She violently attacks the germs and diseases that try to invade Alie's body, and her valiant efforts result in Alie rarely getting sick. While her mighty immune system is busy waging war, Alie unfortunately tends to get a bit confused. The commotion from warfare and the battle cries of your immune system can be disorienting, which is what causes Alie to say things like "I love odd similes like a narwhal loves cheesecake icing fish," and think they actually make sense. But her immune system is still effective at kicking germs in the face and forcing them to retreat.


My immune system is not so great. She's a small, waif-like thing with absolutely no concept of defense or protection or immunity in general. When she sees a germ, she goes running for the hills, leaving me to fall prey to illness after illness. While she's off hiding, I get to do things like vomiting in public and then going home and curling up in bed for seven hours because my stomach hurts so much that I can't move.

I think my immune system needs to start lifting weights.